jebiwonkenobi:

When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.

Parents:  Don't forget to make us proud
Friends:  Don't forget to socialize
Teachers:  Don't forget to get A's
Strangers:  Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex:  Don't forget to look good
Society:  Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr:  Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr:  But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.

amazingphanonfire:

phaandemonium:

phaandemonium:

phaandemonium:

SO THE BACK DOOR IS OPEN AND SOME RANDOM KID HAS WALKED INTO MY HOUSE. HE IS LITERALLY JUST ROAMING AROUND THE HOUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN RANDOM CHILDREN WALK INTO YOUR HOME?

he keeps calling me daddy. 

i am a female. 

i hope you enjoy reblogging one of the scariest moments of my life. i was in the same house a a four year old serial killer. 

are you my daddy?

Anonymous: I have a fear of bananas

I feel your pain. 

angelwingsandplaid:

averypottermormon:

thetremblingofmyhand:

My mom asked me to make cupcakes, so assuming they were for my family, I iced them white with supernatural-themed red demon traps and blood spatter and some of them even had Lucifer written in calligraphy-ish font.

But then I found out that the cupcakes are for a church bake sale.

Do you see how this might be an issue?

you’re my hero

I love you, be my best friend.

cnnbreaking:

that wasn’t very pastel pale soft transparent grunge of you

askboxmemes:

TELL ME AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT YOURSELF AND I WILL REPLY WITH AN INTERESTING FACT ABOUT MYSELF THAT I THINK OF WHEN I READ YOURS. IT MAY BE ENTIRELY RELATED, OR ONLY RELATED IN THE WEIRDEST, BROADEST DEFINITIONS.